Countersales!
Posted on January 4, 2008
Filed Under countersales |
Today I had another very satisfying countersales success. For those who are just joining us, countersales is a technique for combating time-wasting solicitor calls and visits. The technique is essentially a bluff: act like you have all day to talk to them, even though you are not the least bit interested in their product. This turns the tables on the solicitor and makes them feel like you are wasting their time, instead of the other way around. (No offense intended to you solicitors… you are lovely people before 8 AM and after 5 PM, so don't let anyone tell you otherwise.)
Today's conversation, with my thoughts in parentheses:
"Hello this is Robert, how may I help you today?"
"Hi this is Jenny with ___ Weight Loss Center just down the street from you." (Sounds like a solicitor, but maybe they're calling to buy something from me. They're local too… might be a politician's wife… I'd better not burn bridges if they are soliciting.)
"Yes Jenny, hi. How can I help you."
"Does anyone in your office need to lose weight? We at ___ Weight Loss can help you make your new year's resolutions and feel great!" (Oh, sorry Jenny. Did you think I was going to forward you to the extension of the fattest person in the office? They might throttle me! Unasaleable Strategy, step 1: use the "it's impossible" anti-sale, followed by the "complicated insurance product" countersale.)
"Jennie, to be perfectly honest, we're all skinny here. I think it's because we drink 5 pots of coffee a day and work at top speed to address the latest issues in property and casualty insurance."
"Oh my, haha." (I caught her flat-footed, good. Now for the followup punch!)
"Since I mentioned it and you're local, let me tell you that we have an excellent arrangement of insurance options for weight loss clinics, and can package your property and liability insurance on a single cost-saving policy. We can write a professional malpractice policy to cover your medical professionals, and I would be happy to discuss the many coverage issues and options…"
"Oh my, this is wonderful information Robert… I'm writing it all down. Well have a wonderful day, bye now!"
That's good countersales — we made the salesperson end the sales call, all in less than one minute, without being rude. We could have just hung up the phone, but really, how fun is that?
Now, a brief countersales lesson.
There are several ways to display irreconcilable indifference to a product or service; but there is always the possibility that the sales person will try to "overcome objections." The overcoming objections phase of a sale is the part where the salesperson traps you in infinite dialog until you are extorted into buying something you don't want. Countersales will deflate this phase of the sale and cause an immediate retreat by the salesperson; and you can be polite, helpful, and cordial while doing it.
Here are some of the most defensible and/or fun anti-sell positions you can take prior to engaging in countersales. Sometimes, these are enough to do the job themselves:
- I don't want it. This is a hard position to argue with, but if the solicitor seems persistent, immediately follow with "..but let me tell you about the excellent foot massage service we offer…" This is your countersale.
- It's impossible. Using this approach you say something like: I can't possibly use that (or) our equipment is all custom manufactured to use a special ink (or) we have already exceeded our budget for charitable contributions. The "it's impossible" approach is often more secure than the "I don't want it" approach. Even so, be ready to interject with your countersales lead-in.
- Our subsidiary already bought this from you. Be careful with this one… you need to make it sound like your corporation is hopelessly complex without letting on that you're full of it. Use this approach only if you need the thrill to wake you up. Have your countersale ready for a quick escape.
There are hundreds of ways to deflate a sale, but the true punchline is the countersale. For office fun, sell the product that your business deals in. At home, I recommend counterselling inflatable mattresses, custom-printed foam cups, and similarly unexciting but highly customizable products.
Happy counterselling!
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You have entered 'start your head on fire,' housed at www.robertbeverly.com. 'start your head on fire' is the blog of Robert Beverly. It is not a very serious blog. Mr. Beverly writes most of the news items, but you will also see us (Debbie and Secretia) posting from time to time to clarify things. We are his "blog secretaries."
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Rather than publish a biography or ask Mr. Beverly to record his memoirs (which would be dull), we thought we would post a summary for anyone who was wondering. He said we should do something like this because that's what other people's blogs have on them. Mr. Beverly goes by Rab, which is a common name for Scotsmen and their dogs. We call him Mr. Beverly in person because we're trying to talk him into a raise, but you can really call him Rab. Rab drinks gallons of coffee daily and makes jokes that we usually don't understand. We laugh politely because he writes the paychecks for Debbie and I (he hired us both as blog secretaries back in October 2006... we didn't even know what a blog was before this). Mr Beverly goes to the gym a lot, which is why he doesn't have time to type in his blog entries, and he does all kinds of weird exercises like Kung Fu and Yoga (NEVER ask him about this unless you want to hear all about martial arts). He enjoys literary analysis and esoteric reading and games like "Go" (the ancient Japanese strategy game) and chess, not to mention those weird "role playing" and "strategy" games he designs himself, all of which account for why we do not to start conversations with him. (Secretia here... what the hell was wrong with Yahtzee, I ask you?!) We like talking about peekapoos and the best grocery store sales, but we don't get to talk about that here.
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You know, I get daily calls on my brand new business line from companies wanting to sell me their very impressive credit card gizmo that is so very much better than the credit card gizmo I curretly have… using your philosophy I suppose I should just tell them that I am all set to take credit cards, thanks, and in fact I would be very happy to sell them a beautiful new necklace and earring set and I can just take their CC info over the phone!
Fun posts, kiddo. Why didn’t I inherit the witty gene too? Someday you’ll have to package all of this up and make your millions a la Kevin Smith!
What a great idea! I am even more amused than the last countersales post.